i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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