She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
