Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
honey bunches of taint.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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