I can tuck mytits in my pants
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
