I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
