I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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