thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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