big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
