Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The air was thick with penises
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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