he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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