Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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