First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
where am i from again
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
