I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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