Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
