i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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