Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
