i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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