My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize