ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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