There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
