I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
