the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Let's get the cat blown out
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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