My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
