i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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