you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
