Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
