I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
