i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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