Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize