I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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