The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
