whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
