how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize