Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I could make wine with my vomit
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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