well I can't set my house on fire every night
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
