She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
