Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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