He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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