why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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