The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
