I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
