And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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