it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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