The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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