Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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