And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His hands were made for my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
