How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize