I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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