apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
