To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
