I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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