chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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