i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize