Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
