I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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