At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
