There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
