You're so nebulous sometimes
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Panties = found
Randomize
