I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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