Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
