no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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