whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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