I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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