You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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