No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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