The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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