It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
