oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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