Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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