let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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