Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
