i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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