thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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