Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
