Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
