Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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